I think I died a long time ago.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
