is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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