You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize