why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Is this like a preordered booty call?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
