rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
