Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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