don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
