The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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