elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Actions speak louder than pants.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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