OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
