what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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