I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
