no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
