Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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