Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
