I'm going to jail i love you
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
