he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
