This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
