We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
