I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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