I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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