Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize