I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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