I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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