Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
