I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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