Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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