Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
