he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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