GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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