May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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