I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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