And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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