It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
50% drunk capacity currently
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
