Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
