My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
