Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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