Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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