You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
