Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
