I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize