spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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