We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
