I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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