ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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