Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
