Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
