i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
