The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just high enough for therapy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
