My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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