Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
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he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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