I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
