I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
