My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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