All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
