it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
