That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
