her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
