The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I know her cup size but not her name....
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