im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
