All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
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I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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