This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
