His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize